Thursday, May 22, 2008

Tale of the Scale: Losing Faith

I was working out yesterday, having another hard time, and I realized: I've lost faith in myself.

Months ago, I knew that parts of my workout were hard for me. There are things I don't like to do (as there are in life, so there are in the gym). I would do them anyway. I'd put the things I like least at the top of my workout, and reward myself for doing them by doing something else.

Other parts of my workout were challenging, but part of the reason to do them is for the challenge.

Somewhere, I've lost the fun.

Somewhere, I've lost the reward.

Somewhere, I've been beaten by the challenge.

With it, I've lost faith.

I still go to the gym and work hard. But as soon as an obstacle presents itself, I find I'm getting impatient and just moving on. Someone using a machine I want? Fine, I'll do something else. Can't find the handle I want for a cable move? Forget it. Weight feels heavy? I quit.

Then I hate myself for giving up.

I'll get it back. It will take time, but I'll find my confidence again. Until then, I have to give myself a break. I can't quit and then hate myself for quitting; that only compounds the problem.

And any inspirational thoughts you have to help me over this hump are well and truly appreciated.

I also blog at: A Stitch In Time throughout the week and BlogHer on Mondays and Saturdays.