Plus and Minus

This week I'm having a little problem. Not a new problem, more like an old habit. I can't seem to shake it no matter how much I know it's bad for me.

I hang on to every negative thing that happens to me; gnawing away at it like a starving dog with a meaty bone.

A slight, a slur, a disappointment. I grab those negative reactions and work them into a fine lather. I reword my reactions (hm.. that's the telling word there, isn't it?) over and over and don't let the matter drop.

When something does manage to slide in and get on me another track, it's often temporary. As soon as that chore or activity is finished.. back to the bone I go for more.

Yet when something good and positive happens to me, I sit in the positive for a moment or twenty. And when some other demand comes along (which could be the exact same thing that gets me off my negative tirade), I drop the positive glow for good.

It becomes something that happened, where the negative things stay as something happening.

It's not healthy. It's not right. I need to retrain myself to drop those negatives at the first distraction, and come back to revisit the positives.

I know this all about my expectations that people will disappoint me; that I am not worthy of the positives that come my way. Yet it is my choice on some level to focus this way. I don't have the answers yet, but if recognition is the first step, I'm working on it.

I also blog at: A Stitch In Time throughout the week and BlogHer on Mondays and Saturdays.