Tuesday, June 03, 2008

Today is a Start...

Ask how today went, and my first reaction would be: I did a lot of nothing. I did not grocery shop, I did not do the laundry. I did not buy a pretty red dress. I did not meet any friends or have a conversation with a stranger.

Most of the day I would say I'm in a tenuous mood, a low-energy state. I am not having a "good" day. I'm feeling tense, dismissed, alone. Familiar place, but not the place I want to be. I'm tired of living here.

I realized, too, that all this is based upon how I choose to react to my life. I can choose to look at my day differently. I am letting LIFE push me not the other way around.

Today, I tried on a pretty red dress, imagined myself wearing it out to a cocktail party (like BlogHer), considered the jewelry I own that might look right with it. Realized I'd need new shoes. The dress was pretty, inexpensive, and would have been a cheery addition to my closet.

But it wasn't the best I could have. If I choose, I can have a better dress. A dress of finer material that will not just look nice on me for one or two evenings, but a dress that could be stunning on me for a decade or more. Not a "throw away" dress in a soon-to-be-out-of-fashion, but a classic. A dress that stamps the memories of those viewing it as: That is Deb in HER dress!

I want to choose for better. I want to act not react. I want to be responsible for my day, not let my day rule me. Today is a start...

I also blog at: A Stitch In Time throughout the week and BlogHer on Mondays and Saturdays.